I’d like to leave a little mystery surrounding the back of the box, mainly because I forgot to photograph it in full. PS: Stare at that photo and let your eyes cross a little. This cereal succeeds even where it fails. I guess cake frosting would turn regular milk into something closer to melted ice cream, and even to me, that sounds fine. “I hate milk.”Īctually, that’s not even true. Here’s where I put my usual spiel about how I can’t imagine this with milk added, but you’ve all heard that story before. But there’s a fine line between suffering for your art and just being terrible at life, and recreating 1995 cereal frosting TWICE in one night jumps over it like a freakin’ kangaroo. I did kinda goof a little, putting so much red sugar into the mix that the result was far pinker than was appropriate, and yes, I admit it: I actually considered redoing this entire experiment, just for the sake of whiter frosting. (Juge, it was either you or me.) I am so damn proud of this photo, and feel that if the subject was anything other than cereal topped with expired cake frosting, sooo many people would be stealing it. That’s the money shot, which isn’t to infer that I switched the frosting out for something disgusting. This was a whole lot of ridiculousness for someone who only gets to be home for approximately 30 minutes a day. In a pinch, a tiny Ziploc acted as my piping bag. The good news is, I made my own batch, mixing vanilla cake frosting with red and green sugar crystals. I only had the empty box to photograph, which was made to look fresh with the aid of masking tape on the bottom and a couple of Dollar Tree vases inside. The bad news is, I don’t actually have a packet of ancient Christmas Crunch holiday frosting. In 1995, Christmas Crunch came with packets of “holiday frosting and sprinkles,” which was the quicker way of saying, “holiday frosting with thousands of red and green sugar grains drowning in it.” Quicker yes, but less poetic. Can’t say I blame you, even if you are a heartless and impatient ass. You see Cap’n Crunch holding a mysterious packet of frosting, and you want to skip ahead. Plus, for some reason, the font they used for “Christmas Crunch” makes me want to ride a train. Such a successful departure from the red-and-green norm. I probably would’ve written about this even without the frosting thing. From Santa Crunch’s understated appearance to the shiny silver snowflakes, it’s a box that begs for stares and GETS them. This was by far the strangest of the many Christmas Crunch variations, but I mean that in the best ways possible.īefore we get to the meat (meat = frosting), let us bow in unison to this box design, bold in its blues and heavy on everything holy. This super special version of Christmas Crunch came out in 1995, and if not for Coolio, would have been the pop sensation of its year. I may have written about that cereal fifty times, but I never told you about the time it came with cake frosting. You might think that I’ve exhausted the well of Christmas Crunch posts, but nuh uh. 1995 Christmas Crunch with HOLIDAY FROSTING.
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